Better Together: Why Group Counseling is an Important Discipleship Tool- Part 1

Group counseling is an effective tool for discipleship, growth, and change in our lives. Group Counseling not only encourages our connections with others but also provides a safe and confidential space to practice things like effective listening, empathy, and vulnerability. You can read more about that here.  

There are many benefits to Group Counseling, but one I’ve heard consistently over the years from participants is that they feel “seen” by others. What is it about being “seen”that feels so good to us? Being “seen” isn’t exactly an emotion. It’s not like being watched, but more that I’m recognized, understood, and affirmed. It’s when you just “click” with someone, it feels like you can finish each other’s …sandwiches.
In the first chapter of Genesis God says, “Let us make mankind in our image” (Gen. 1:26) and as God addresses the world, his intention for man and woman was not simply to live together but that we would be known by one another.

When God brings Eve to Adam, she mirrors Adam to herself as if saying, “I’m not just a Helper to Adam, but I’m helping him to see himself.” The Bible consistently tells us that we don’t really know ourselves until we see ourselves in someone else’s eyes. And it feels good!
 
Neuroscience also affirms God’s design. Dopamine is known as the “feel good” hormone in our brains. It gives us a sense of pleasure, and our brains are wired to seek out behaviors that release dopamine in our reward system. When you’re doing something pleasurable, your brain releases a large amount of dopamine. You feel good and you seek more of that feeling.

This happens we feel seen; the brain releases dopamine in our bodies, and that feel-good-feeling makes us want to pursue more of it—to be seen and heard. It’s what allows us to be more open and vulnerable as we feel safe with others.  

However, many of us don’t have these kinds of relationships in our lives. This is why social media is so powerful; we look to social media platforms to be seen, liked, and affirmed. Studies show that the constant stream of retweets, likes, and shares cause the brain’s reward center to trigger similar chemical reactions to drugs like Cocaine. We get endless amounts of immediate rewards in the form of attention from others for relatively minimal effort, and the brain rewires itself through this positive reinforcement, increasing our desire for attention. But it’s not just being “seen” on these platforms that’s significant, we’re also asking the question, “Do I matter?”

So, what is the solution? God made us a lot like plants; just as plants need light and nutrients to grow, we need other people to grow and change too. He made us to be known by others, and when we are connected to them in safe and life-giving relationships, we will thrive. But relationships are complex and can also hurt us. Maybe that’s why Jesus was always crying—he was constantly misunderstood, abandoned, and betrayed—by his closest friends.  

We need relationships to grow, but we also must learn how to cultivate them in ways that are life-giving and beneficial. Group Counseling gives us an opportunity to be seen and known by others in a safe and confidential space guided by a trained counselor who can help reinforce our listening, empathy, and vulnerability. Brene Brown says, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”
 
Love is at the center of our growth, and developing these kinds of relationships in opportunities like Group Counseling can transform our lives and our communities.  

The Barnabas Center regularly hosts Group Counseling to help facilitate deep connections with one another around a particular subject and enhance our personal growth and change. We would invite you to consider one of our upcoming groups. Please reach out to us at connect@barnabascenterhou.com with any questions or information about upcoming Group Counseling.