Better Together: Why Group Counseling is an Important Discipleship Tool- Part 2

Giving and receiving help from others can heal us in significant ways. Individual counseling offers us the opportunity to develop a relationship with a counselor one-on-one as understanding, insights, and connections are made. This relationship is meaningful in counseling because the quality of a counseling relationship between a counselor and client has consistently been found to have the most lasting impact on a client’s outcome and change. One professor put it this way: “It’s primary [the counseling relationship] in the sense of being the horse that comes before the carriage, with the carriage being the interventions.” A trusting relationship is at the heart of successful counseling.  
 
So how can Group Counseling impact us as significantly as individual counseling? Group Counseling can be just as effective as similar studies link the relationships among group members as essential to our growth and change. Sharing our emotions, struggles, and questions with others enhances our view of our circumstances and reminds us that we aren’t alone in it. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that man should be alone,” and we are better together than by ourselves. 
 
However, many of us have developed an ethos of independence by living our lives apart from needing others. When we were young, we were taught to be independent: tie your shoes, pick up your toys, drive a car, be responsible. Becoming independent is the pathway to maturity as we take on new challenges and learn to accomplish new things by ourselves. Independence is a natural part of growing up, but it can also be a hindrance. Brene Brown says, “One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on ‘going it alone.’ Somehow, we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone.” 
 
If we try to grow spiritually in the same way that we grow naturally, it will produce frustration and hinder our growth. Spiritual growth is counterintuitive because it occurs when we become more dependent on God and others, not less. This is why Group Counseling can be an effective discipleship tool to help us grow more deeply in our connection with God and others.  
 
Group Counseling helps us not only connect to others in similar circumstances, but also gives us an opportunity to practice honesty and openness in a safe and confidential space. I often brainstorm with my clients ways to practice building trust, active listening, and vulnerability in their everyday relationships. But this can be intimidating and fearful. What if we are open about a struggle and we are dismissed, or what if someone tries to fix our problem rather than listen to our heart? 
 
Words can have a significant impact on us, and the Bible has a lot to say about how we use them. James 3:6 says, “the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness” and our words, although well-meaning, do more damage than good. I often hear stories of fixing, advice-ing, judging, and shaming occurring in groups that aren’t set up with protective boundaries. If a group leader doesn’t protect how listening and sharing are done, it can be hurtful. We read in Proverbs that “rash words are like sword thrusts” (12:18) and “Gracious words are like…sweetness to the soul” (16:24). 
 
We must learn and practice how to listen, empathize, and help people. Group Counseling is an effective space to experience these kinds of safe and vulnerable relationships alongside a counselor who can guide us, enforce boundaries, and encourage styles of relating that are life-giving. A common slogan says, You can only take people as far as you’ve gone yourself, meaning if you haven’t experienced and practiced openness, vulnerability, and safety, most likely you won’t be able to offer it to others.  
 
If you want to grow in how you relate to others and experience deep connections in a safe and confidential environment, I encourage you to consider Group Counseling. The Barnabas Center regularly hosts Group Counseling to help facilitate deep connections with one another around a particular subject and enhance our personal growth and change. We would invite you to consider one of our upcoming groups. Visit our website www.barnabascenterhou.com for current Group Counseling opportunities or reach out to us at connect@barnabascenterhou.com with any questions or for more information about Group Counseling.  
 
 
Brown, B. (2020). The gifts of imperfection. Random House.
Harvath, A. O. (n.d.). Better relationships with patients lead to better outcomes. Monitor on Psychology. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships