Why Counseling is Important for Children

As parents you might have wondered at some point if your child needs counseling. Questions may come up such as:
– What are issues that a professional counselor could help with?
– When do I know if my child needs outside help?
– How does it benefit a child to talk to someone outside of our family?
– What does therapy look like for a child?

How Counseling Can Help
What do we do when we observe a disruption in our child’s life or persistent out-of-the-ordinary behavior? Or they go through something painful? Sometimes as parents we don’t want our kids to be in distress or feel uncomfortable, so we accommodate their fears by removing stressors or worries with distractions. Maybe a play date or new sports team will help. Or, we avoid discussing topics with our children that are heavy, complicated, or confusing assuming that children will not think about them if we don’t bring them up.
But children are already thinking, interpreting, and drawing conclusions about themselves and their lives regardless. Pain doesn’t harm children, but unresolved pain can have a significant impact. If we don’t allow our children the space to process difficult thoughts, feelings, and experiences, they will grow into something more extreme. Sadness can lead to depression and frustration can lead to “acting out” behaviors.

Children need emotional support when they are dealing with experiences such as life changes, social anxiety, frustration at school, feelings of grief, or self-image issues. As adults, we can look back on our experiences and use them as guidance as we seek future outcomes. But children don’t have these built-in bonus life experiences. Research shows that a child’s brain continues to develop well into their 20’s, so it’s hard for them to imagine a better future when their brains are still maturing and cataloging knowledge.

Counseling helps children learn how to navigate their emotions and ask for help when they are feeling overwhelmed. Learning how to regulate emotions and connect their feelings and behavior helps children gain more control over their feelings, decreasing their anxiety and worry while increasing their self-confidence and self-efficacy. As parents we want our children to develop qualities that mirror Christ, teaching them to be strong and powerful. Making sense of their emotional world will empower children to be more responsive and less reactive in their lives.

How Counseling is Unique
Children need all kinds of relationships to grow—family relationships, teachers, coaches, tutors, friends, and mentors to name a few. But a counseling relationship is unique because the purpose of a counseling session is to help a child understand and process their thoughts and feelings, learn new skills to manage them, and grow in their connection to themselves. Counseling is solely focused on a child’s insight into themselves and their relationships. And counseling offers a child the opportunity to talk fully and freely about themselves, their wonderings, fears, and aspirations in a safe and confidential space. At a time when children are learning how to form relationships, a counseling relationship can play a significant role in your child’s development.

How Does Children’s Counseling Work?
Counselors are trained to help with all sorts of issues and situations such as:
-Family problems or family transitions
-Issues at school
-Health problems
-Emotions such as sadness, anger, stress, worry, and grief
-ADHD
-Self-harm
-Disruptive behaviors
-Trauma
The counselor works to build a trusting relationship with your child so they can communicate openly. Trust and safety are at the center of creating lasting relationships, and the counselor will take time and consideration into forming a trusting relationship with the child. No matter the type of therapy or initial issue being addressed, a counselor’s primary goal is to provide a safe, comfortable space for children to feel understood.

Types of therapy for children include play therapy, talk therapy, family therapy, EMDR for trauma (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), and cognitive-behavioral therapy. These can be done in many creative ways to appeal to your child and their developmental age. For instance, in play therapy a child will “play out” issues as a way to problem-solve in real life. This can be done with games, art, sand tray figures, storytelling or other play experiences that allow kids to express themselves through their most natural response in play.

When children learn how to express their feelings and emotions, handle stress in healthy ways, and use mindfulness and relaxation exercises to develop self-care, they will be better equipped as adults.

What Can You Do?
Children interpret life and experiences whether we talk to them about it or not. Counseling can help a child develop communication skills and emotional regulation around their inner world so that they can draw helpful conclusions about themselves and their circumstances.
Counseling also helps parents grow in their communication skills too as many counselors will regularly consult with parents on ways to engage and connect with their child as insights are gained through counseling. Parents may benefit from their own counseling or family therapy sessions to learn how to support and connect with their child. Parenting offers us an opportunity to develop the image of God in our children and prepare them for adulthood. And children’s counseling is a significant resource to support families in their parenting journey.

We would love to come alongside you and your child in whatever season you find yourself.  We offer counseling to children, adolescents, and families as well as ADHD assessments for children and adults. Please visit our website www.barnabascenterhou.com for more information about counseling and assessments or reach out to us directly at connect@barnabascenterhou.com.